1-Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
2- Q: What did the blond mom say to the blond daughter?
A: If your not in bed by midnight, come home.
3- Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
4- Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
5- Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
6- Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
7- Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
8- Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.
9- Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third Grade.
10- Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
11- Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
12- Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
13- Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
14- Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
15- Q: How do you get a blonde to climb on the roof?
A: Tell her that the drinks are on the house
16- Q: Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
17- Q: What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: A padded dash.
18- Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers
19- Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.
20- Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A: Way to go team!
21- Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.
22- Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
23- Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
24- Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
25- Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
26- Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.
27- Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
28- Q: What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning?
A: "Thanks, guys..."
29- Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
30- Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
31- Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
32- Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
33- Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of. the box.
34- Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.
35- Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road?
A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's . . . .
36- Q: How can you tell a blonde had a bad day?
A: Her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn't know what she did with her cigarette.
37- Q: Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?
A: To keep her neck warm.
38- Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
39- Q: How would a blonde punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry
40- Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
41- Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
42- Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
43- Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.
44- Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
45- Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.
46- Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.
47- Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
48- Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.
49- Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.
50- Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?
A: It's too hard to re-train them.
51- Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
52- Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
53- Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
54- Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
55- Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
56- Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
57- Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.
58- Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
59- Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
60- Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
61- Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have a black box.
62- Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex!
63- Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.
64- Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
65- Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
66- Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.
67- Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
68- Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
69- Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
70- Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
71- Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of her head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
72- Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
73- Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
74- Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
75- Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
76- Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: Oh Look! Donut seeds!
77- Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: - Spot.
78- Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: - Tell them a joke on Friday night!
79- Q: What is happening when you hear varoom...screech, varoom...screech, varoom...screech.....?
A: A blonde trying to drive through an intersection with a flashing red light.
80- Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
81- Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
82- Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
83- Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
84- Q: Why are all these blonde jokes one liners?
A: So the blondes can understand them!!!
85- Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
86- Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
87- Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
88. Q: How does a blonde turn the lights on after having sex??
A: She opens the car door
89. Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings??
A: To have somewhere to put their feet durning sex
90. Q: Why cant't you tell blondes knock knock jokes?
A: Because they go and answer the door.
91. Q:What is the difference between a blonde and your toothbrush?
A:You wouldn't let your roommate borrow your toothbrush.
92. Q:What is the difference between a blonde and a limo?
A:Not everyone has been in the limo.
93. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
A: One's a bunch a cunning runts.
94. Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
95. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
96. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.
97. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
98. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
99. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
2- Q: What did the blond mom say to the blond daughter?
A: If your not in bed by midnight, come home.
3- Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
4- Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
5- Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
6- Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
7- Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
8- Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.
9- Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third Grade.
10- Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
11- Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
12- Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
13- Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
14- Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
15- Q: How do you get a blonde to climb on the roof?
A: Tell her that the drinks are on the house
16- Q: Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
17- Q: What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: A padded dash.
18- Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers
19- Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.
20- Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A: Way to go team!
21- Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.
22- Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
23- Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
24- Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
25- Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
26- Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.
27- Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
28- Q: What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning?
A: "Thanks, guys..."
29- Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
30- Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
31- Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
32- Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
33- Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of. the box.
34- Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.
35- Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road?
A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's . . . .
36- Q: How can you tell a blonde had a bad day?
A: Her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn't know what she did with her cigarette.
37- Q: Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?
A: To keep her neck warm.
38- Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
39- Q: How would a blonde punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry
40- Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
41- Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
42- Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
43- Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.
44- Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
45- Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.
46- Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.
47- Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
48- Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.
49- Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.
50- Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?
A: It's too hard to re-train them.
51- Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
52- Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
53- Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
54- Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
55- Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
56- Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
57- Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.
58- Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
59- Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
60- Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
61- Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have a black box.
62- Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex!
63- Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.
64- Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
65- Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
66- Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.
67- Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
68- Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
69- Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
70- Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
71- Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of her head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
72- Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
73- Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
74- Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
75- Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
76- Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: Oh Look! Donut seeds!
77- Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: - Spot.
78- Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: - Tell them a joke on Friday night!
79- Q: What is happening when you hear varoom...screech, varoom...screech, varoom...screech.....?
A: A blonde trying to drive through an intersection with a flashing red light.
80- Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
81- Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
82- Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
83- Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
84- Q: Why are all these blonde jokes one liners?
A: So the blondes can understand them!!!
85- Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
86- Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
87- Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
88. Q: How does a blonde turn the lights on after having sex??
A: She opens the car door
89. Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings??
A: To have somewhere to put their feet durning sex
90. Q: Why cant't you tell blondes knock knock jokes?
A: Because they go and answer the door.
91. Q:What is the difference between a blonde and your toothbrush?
A:You wouldn't let your roommate borrow your toothbrush.
92. Q:What is the difference between a blonde and a limo?
A:Not everyone has been in the limo.
93. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
A: One's a bunch a cunning runts.
94. Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
95. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
96. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.
97. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
98. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
99. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
